The Synapse Connections of a lifetime

What i'm going through now is probably old news for many of my friends, I'm starting work as an intern! It has been a long journey of hurdles and reflection, now here I am on the edge of my new life. The room was filled with many eager faces, some of them familiar since we ate from the same uni. What followed was orientation that lasted for three days. It was something we needed. Friendly faces thats there to support us and some time to come to terms with our new responsibilities. Yes, no longer can we hide behind the "I'm a student" phrase when faced with a difficult situation. We are now in a privileged position as doctors and we have responsibilities toward the safety and wellbeing of our patients. I started my first term as a surgical night intern. My job is to take care of surgical patients and to make sure they went through the night smoothly. A week after orientation I find myself alone at night in the wards. There was support by the hdu rmo for high level though which I really need. My first job was a request for fluids.. A simple task that took me quite some time to decide, much because it was the first time I'm the sole decision maker and also because if done wrongly it could really mess up the patient. The confidence increases steadily by the week, and I find myself increasingly able to make critical decisions quicker. The vivas that we went through for the exam was invaluable, kudos to the viva study group, whom without I would be so much more lost. All is not smooth though. On the second day one patient developed severe abdominal pains and needed emergency surgery for perforated bowel. It bugged me for a few days whether I did everything right, and if theres anything that I could have done differently. I'm not sure if the man survived; the last time I heard he was in icu post op, I never see him ever again since. Now I'm in my week off, and it's going to be annoying coz I'm starting work on the first day of cny! And such is my life so far, I wonder what's next..