[Warning, nonsense post-exam syndrome (PES) rant follows]
It's 4 a.m, and yet I can't seem to sleep.. My eyes are blurry but my mind is running about like nobody's business..
Lately I realised that there's no more passion in everything I do.. I'm becoming like a person with a dead personality.. I'm just moving on with the present, the very present, not reflecting on my past, not aiming for the future.. I felt empty after a long long time, and that everything that I do brings fourth no purpose and bears no productivity.. I have seemed to lose what used to be my personality, my warmth.. I've changed somehow.. and I'm not liking it..
I don't know what I want anymore, I have no vision nor ambition.. I just lived my life in a corner by myself..
Damn I feel like an idiot.. Self esteem? It's almost rock bottom. Interpersonal skills? I try to avoid communicating with people I don't really know now.. Everytime someone approaches me, I'd try to find excuses to back away.. Don't talk to me, I having nothing interesting to say to you.. Haha, it's a vicious cycle I guess, stop talking to people, lose interesting things to say, can't talk to more people..
I guess I should set things back up.. to put my aims all together, to put the pace of my life back up.. Else i'll fall deep into a hole that never ends..
Once someone told me, rule No.1 of Holes: "When you're in one, stop digging".
I feel relieved that the exams are over, but stressed that i might have just made it though (or did not make it) by the skin of my teeth.. I wish I can remember everything i've learnt.. they seem to delete themselves.. sighs..
I guess there will be a day where everything falls apart..
[End of rant]
It's 4 a.m, and yet I can't seem to sleep.. My eyes are blurry but my mind is running about like nobody's business..
Lately I realised that there's no more passion in everything I do.. I'm becoming like a person with a dead personality.. I'm just moving on with the present, the very present, not reflecting on my past, not aiming for the future.. I felt empty after a long long time, and that everything that I do brings fourth no purpose and bears no productivity.. I have seemed to lose what used to be my personality, my warmth.. I've changed somehow.. and I'm not liking it..
I don't know what I want anymore, I have no vision nor ambition.. I just lived my life in a corner by myself..
Damn I feel like an idiot.. Self esteem? It's almost rock bottom. Interpersonal skills? I try to avoid communicating with people I don't really know now.. Everytime someone approaches me, I'd try to find excuses to back away.. Don't talk to me, I having nothing interesting to say to you.. Haha, it's a vicious cycle I guess, stop talking to people, lose interesting things to say, can't talk to more people..
I guess I should set things back up.. to put my aims all together, to put the pace of my life back up.. Else i'll fall deep into a hole that never ends..
Once someone told me, rule No.1 of Holes: "When you're in one, stop digging".
I feel relieved that the exams are over, but stressed that i might have just made it though (or did not make it) by the skin of my teeth.. I wish I can remember everything i've learnt.. they seem to delete themselves.. sighs..
I guess there will be a day where everything falls apart..
[End of rant]
UNSW lower campus as seen from 7th floor Warrane College
sigh..i know how it feels. i'm feeling quite the same too. sigh sigh sigh. see, even me can't rmbr facts correctly..that is, if i am really wrong. another point, i can't even be bothered to check.
Hmm..maybe it's the exams that making you feel this way? As you mentioned it yourself: post-exam syndrome? :)
Don't worry la...it's good that you realise what's wrong with you. So, you'll know it's time to pick yourself up before it's too late.
Some people don't realise it and continue to spiral further down.
Cheer up! :)